finally, i get to start sharing my consciousness with the world, within this global brain of the internet…
i’m too conditioned within real life. i live in a society where i cannot share my thoughts freely & openly, so i will seek to spill my consciousness here…
i didn’t start a blog before, because i was too afraid of failure, of having no words to say, of feeling empty & not being able to continue writing… but loneliness has become so suffocating; i find no one to share my mind with in a traditional society that still lives within the confines of past evolutionary stages…
so i will spill my consciousness here, even if no one reads this, i will just virtually spill myself out to this global brain, scream my mind out into this virtual sphere, so my voice, that has no place in real life, can unleash itself in the endless virtual world…
my purpose in life, & through this blog, is to find a purpose for the cosmic process… what is it all about? what is this existence about? why does everything has to be the way it is & not something else? what is the end, the purpose, of this whole cosmic process?
What happens when a cosmic creature endlessly struggles to break herself free from conditions shackling her pursuit to "become"?! When she risks her sanity to experience the breaking eternal point of pain*joy?! When she challenges the norms & institutions that have been established throughout a history of self/survival/destruction?! When she follows the beautiful heart of a consciousness that un/conditionally imagines & aspires to become a different reality?! When she spirals down endlessly into the darkness of obsessive fears for the perfection of the pursuit of success?!
I have come to the ultimate point of recognizing that the ultimate hope, purpose, & beauty is to seek my death... martyrdom... suicide... ultimate self/sacrifice... in a world that is falling down into mass/extinction, cancerously eating upon itself, murdering its struggling spirit of childish innocence, beauty, & freedom in its blind pursuit of survival & success!
Before the end... before death... before self*collective/extinction.... the body, mind, & soul experiences an eternal singularity moment of full self*collective/consciousness... the awareness of everything! & aahh... the ecstasy of it!
This is why I seek to pour the complex cosmic consciousness that has flown through my heart into these virtual pages, before I lay my body back into its earth, & my energy back into its universe... hoping that it may evolve into an end that explosively reveals to me*you a purpose at the end/core of the pain, the confusing meaningless complexifying pain of our cosmic journey... to finally free our consciousness at its point of ecstatic death*birth...
I dedicate this consciousness to baba tarek, the first other consciousness mine has connected with through intense pain*beauty to the point of his self/sacrifice for my survival...
I dedicate this consciousness to habibi nathan, the last other consciousness mine has connected with through intense pain*beauty to the point of my self/sacrifice for his survival...
I dedicate this consciousness to all the forsaken... the countless creatures who are sacrificed for the survival of others... the dark energy that is expanding our universe exponentially with pain...
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6 thoughts on “sharing my consciousness…”
Reblogged this on Seven Spheres and commented:
New Blogger!, 😎
Really enjoyed reading this and can relate. Thank you so much for sharing 🙏 I have been going through a spiritual awakening myself and totally get about feeling alone in regards to what you are going through. You are not alone, take care and feel free to stay in contact.
Blessings 🙏💜
Wa Alaikum Assalam 🙂 (Peace upon you too). Thank you so much everyone for your beautiful comments & greetings ♥ I’m indeed not alone, at least in the virtual global brain of the internet.
cosmic purpose 
Reblogged this on Seven Spheres and commented:
New Blogger!, 😎
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Namaste’
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Thank you for being … YOU 🙂
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We hear you, even in our little bubbles!
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Really enjoyed reading this and can relate. Thank you so much for sharing 🙏 I have been going through a spiritual awakening myself and totally get about feeling alone in regards to what you are going through. You are not alone, take care and feel free to stay in contact.
Blessings 🙏💜
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Wa Alaikum Assalam 🙂 (Peace upon you too). Thank you so much everyone for your beautiful comments & greetings ♥ I’m indeed not alone, at least in the virtual global brain of the internet.
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